Critique and Feedback
I was going to write a different topic for this month, but I found myself veering off into a tangent to the point that I decided it should actually be its own post.
And people who know me will know that I have Opinions on feedback and critique in the writing community.
Also, making it its own post allows me to just point to this in the future rather than having a tangent every time. Efficient!
There’s parts of this geared towards people giving feedback, and parts geared towards people receiving feedback, but I’m not separating it out like that because honestly y’all need to be aware of both sides of the issue.
Complaints About Feedback
I see – in discords, on Facebook, Bluesky, everywhere, really – complaints about feedback. Oddly enough, not usually from the people who got that feedback (though yes, you pedantic brats, those too exist. It’s just not usually from them in my experience; I’ll get to them in a bit). More often I see people complaining about how other people can’t handle feedback.
That’s… an interesting complaint, actually. Let’s unpack that a little.
Because honestly, who cares?
Seriously. It’s not your work. If someone else isn’t open to feedback, that has nothing to do with you – unless, of course, you were the person to offer that feedback, in which case… it still isn’t your work. If you don’t like what an author does with your feedback, just don’t offer it any more. There. Done. Easy. If the person was rude about it, well, that’s a them problem, and you can stop offering feedback at any time.
Yes, I used Cinzel for the font. No, I do not get a gold star for that. I might lose one, actually.
And there certainly are a plethora of people out there very willing to offer unsolicited feedback on things, in which case, yes – sometimes an author will see it and find it valuable and implement it. But if they aren’t looking for feedback, they are not contractually obligated to accept whatever advice you have for them, even if it is good advice. Do you want a gold star for being a good person and giving a suggestion? Here. Use this one. I’m proud of you for trying to make the writing world a better place. But they don’t have to feel the same.
Confusion Over Feedback
Now I said I don’t usually see people complaining about feedback they received as much on social media (I more often see this in private discords, where – and if you take one thing from this post, take this – it belongs. Don’t air it in public; instead, complain about it with friends you trust who can help you process it. Doing it on Facebook or whatever just looks bad). These people either seem confused about what to do with the feedback (they received contradictory feedback from multiple people, they just don’t understand it, etc.), or are actively hostile towards it (or occasionally even the person who gave the feedback).
For one, don’t be hostile to people who give you feedback. Those willing to actually read a work and offer thoughts are few and far between, and they don’t deserve to be punished by you just because you don’t agree. Feedback is incredibly helpful and even if you don’t end up working well with someone, you don’t want to ruin that person for another writer who could potentially work well with them.
Disagreement
Yeah, I’m going to break this out into its own section.
Maybe this is a hot take but: disagreement is not inherently hostile or rude. People can disagree just fine without it being a personal attack. This goes out to both sides: disagreeing just means you disagree. It’s ok. You will both live. If you are reading a personal attack into every disagreement, that’s probably something for you to unpack. I think the only place pineapple belongs is on pizza; I’m not questioning all your life choices if you disagree. Just your idea of where pineapple belongs.
And it could just be that you are not meant to work together. I once had someone comment at the end of the first chapter of Lost Blades a piece of advice. I explained that there was a later event that rendered that advice moot. He never read a single other thing of mine again. And honestly, we were probably both better off for it, and there’s no shame in that. We work in different ways. I require an open dialogue with those offering me feedback, and some readers want to offer their thoughts and be done with it. Find what works for you.
What to Do, What to Do
But what about those people who were confused about what to do with their feedback? Sometimes it has to do with “writing rules” – don’t use adverbs, only use said (or never use said, depending on who you are talking to), show don’t tell, etc. Sometimes it has to do with how something in the narrative was perceived by the reader. Sometimes it’s a structural issue with the story framework. Sometimes they received conflicting pieces of advice. Sometimes it just doesn’t jive.
So here’s The Thing. The BIG Thing. The Important Thing.
You are the only person who can decide what you want to do with your work.
The “writing rules” people regurgitate over and over again? They don’t actually matter. If you want to find your voice as a writer, you’ll find it in the rules you choose to follow and the rules you don’t. It’s an actual, active choice you are making. No one else gets to decide. The rules aren’t real. It’s just you and what YOU want. If you want to follow every single rule and every single suggestion? Go for it. That is your voice, that is how you chose to write. No one can take that from you. And the opposite is true as well. You can follow exactly zero rules and do it all yourself, and that’s fine too. Most people fall somewhere in the middle.
But here’s the next part of that: This applies to all feedback.
Not All Feedback Is Valid
Betas, critique partners, editors, agents, your parents and friends, random assholes on the internet (even me!). It’s your choice what to take from their feedback. It’s very possible you don’t like what they say, even though maybe that would make a better story. But – is that better story the one you wanted to tell? Only you can decide that. Sometimes the answer is “no,” and that’s ok. Even if it was a great idea! If you see it, and still think your original vision is the way to go, then do that.
And sometimes that feedback isn’t useful at all, or feels wrong entirely. Ignore it. Move on. Even if it’s someone whose opinion you value. Even if it’s someone with more experience. Even if it’s someone who’s successful. Even if it’s someone you paid. Because it isn’t their story. Because they aren’t in your head and they don’t know what you know.
Other people’s opinions can be very valuable. They have experiences we don’t and they look at things through a different lens. And if you see the value in their feedback, then that’s when you should implement it.
The Numbers Problem
We like to think that if we get more eyes on the story we can find all the problems, find the perfect way to get our message across. But no story is perfect. Following all advice does not guarantee your book will make sense to every reader. There’s even the chance it will make it worse. No one is perfect. I’ve seen writers paralyzed, having written draft after draft after draft trying to make their manuscript perfect, to align with every rule and every bit of advice they can soak up.
They never publish.
It sucks when a reader doesn’t “get it,” and our instinct is usually to try to find a way to “fix” it so they can. Sometimes that can be valid, but only you can come to that conclusion. And sometimes by changing it, you cede your vision for someone else’s. Not always! But sometimes. And maybe the person who would have understood your story wasn’t one who got to read it.
Some will disagree. Because why ask for feedback if you aren't going to follow it? But that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying you CHOOSE which feedback to follow and which not to. It’s on you, the writer, to craft your own work. Advice can be helpful. But you have to decide which advice works for you and which doesn’t. There’s no easy answer, there’s no secret formula. You have to do what speaks to you. Other people are going to make you doubt, but the only question you have to ask yourself is this:
“Will doing this thing help me tell the story I want to tell?”
And only you know the answer to that. No one else does. Not even other writers. Everyone thinks they know what’s best, but they only know what’s best for the story they want to read. That might not be the story you are writing. Maybe they have a preference for certain formatting. Maybe they hate adverbs. Maybe every time they see someone raising and eyebrow it makes them hurl their tablet across the room. Maybe they believe published fiction has to be written in perfect Oxford English, including the dialogue. Maybe they just can’t understand and connect to a certain kind of person or action. Maybe multiple people agree with them, and your whole beta team hates how you finished a chapter and thinks your couple should have definitely kissed there.
Doesn’t matter if that’s not the story you want to write.
…And Not All Feedback Is Invalid
Yes, yes, I see you out there, hands poised over your keyboard.
“Well I am not afraid of people disagreeing with me! I want to be pushed out of my comfort zone! People who refuse to listen to feedback just want to be told they are right!”
If that is your takeaway here, you’ve misunderstood.
It’s not about finding someone who will say “yes” to you all the time, or tell you what you wrote is good even when it’s not. It’s about finding people who you work well with, who can share your vision of your finished project.
Maybe you are someone who works best with your ideas torn to shreds by an editor or a friend, or when you are working with someone you don’t gel with. I’ve known people who are like that, who have said to me word for word, “I purposefully picked an editor I didn’t gel with,” and it’s fine to have that be your process if that is how you work best. But understand that is your process, and not everyone’s, and just because you decided to hurl yourself up against an editor you don’t actually get along with does not mean everyone should.
Editors and readers can point out mistakes and challenge you without every conversation becoming a battleground, and not wanting to fight with every interaction or having to explain one’s vision over and over again is not a moral failing on an author. There’s having conversations about a work, and there’s having battles over a work, and if you find yourself having constant battles on either side of the equation, it’s probably not working. If someone seems unwilling to listen to your feedback, just move on. The success of their work does not rest on your shoulders. And who knows – maybe you are just not agreeing about whatever the core of the project is. In that case, you aren’t going to agree no matter what. But the author dictates the direction. If you don’t agree, remove yourself from the project.
If the situation is combative instead of collaborative, no one is winning. This is a book, not real life. No one is actually dying because of decisions made over a fantasy city located in the caldera of a volcano or something.
Except possibly the citizens of that city.
Making Informed Decisions
So… where does that leave you?
Basically, you are going to have to make informed decisions on the feedback you are receiving.
Yes – you are the only person who can decide whether or not to implement feedback (certainly, a reader isn’t going to re-write your work for you to fix a perceived error hastily shoves AO3 back under the rug). But if your instinct is to rebuff all feedback, here are some things to consider:
Have multiple people had the same observations? If so, it’s likely many readers will also have those same observations. Are you okay with that? Maybe you need more opinions (or conversely, maybe you need less).
Who are you writing for? If you are writing purely for yourself, then to be perfectly frank, whether or not you implement feedback really does not matter. If, on the other hand, you want other people to read it, then you should also keep your ideal reader in mind – after all, they are who you want to enjoy it!
Some advice that keeps getting trot out over and over again does so because generally it is good advice. If you are going to ignore it, feel free – but I do suggest you look at why that advice is constantly suggested. Study why it works, and then make an informed decision to ignore it.
Find a third party to discuss feedback with! Sometimes, something you instantly think wouldn’t work actually can, and discussing it with a friend can help reframe feedback.
Look at why that feedback is being given. Sometimes someone suggests that you do something that you disagree with, but points to a deeper problem. I had an editor suggest I cut Ander’s point of view sections from Broken Blades – that wasn’t something I was willing to do due to where I knew Blades Reforged was going, but their reasoning was that he didn’t really grow as a character. So instead of cutting his pov, I just made his life much worse in it.
Acknowledge that if you are ignoring ALL advice from absolutely every quarter, what you are writing probably will not make money. It’s hard enough to make money with things written to market; if you are purposefully swimming upriver, it’s going to be a long, hard road.
Mix your metaphors; that’s fun.
So there you have it. Boldly go, eyes open, into whatever decisions you are making – either about your own work or someone else’s.
How do you handle feedback? Has there ever been a situation where you and someone just did not gel? Did you write a counter blog post? Let me know in the comments below!
